The Midnight Ride of Santa Claus



Colonel Zeplin Van Brello is an SS Officer and one of the heads of military operations in Europe at the beginning of World War II.

Santa is arrested brought in to Colonel Van Brello's office for interrogation. The soldiers are a little rough on Santa as if he were a common criminal. The soldiers leave the office and Santa is now all alone. He looks around the office. There are a lot of guns on display in the office.

The door to this office is larger than a normal door, as if the size of the door indicated that it is the door of a very important person. In fact, when Colonel Van Brello stands in the doorway, it makes him appear small and unimportant by comparison. His desk is also just slightly larger than normal so when Colonel Van Brello sits at his desk, it makes him look a little like he's too small for it.


The office door opens and Colonel Van Brello comes into the room. He starts out cheerfully. Santa only listens but doesn't speak.


Nicholas. Nicholas. It's good to see you. I'm sorry for the interruption of your journey.

Colonel Van Brello pours himself a glass of very clear white wine into an expensive crystal glass. He ignores Santa for a moment to intimidate him and then acts has if he suddenly remembered Santa is in the room.


Oh, here, where are my manners?  May I offer you some wine.

Santa still sits there in silence.  Colonel Van Brello gets ready to fill a second glass with wine for Santa when he realizes that Santa may not want any wine.


No wine. Well, maybe later we can send out for some ice cream, huh?

Colonel Van Brello sits behind his desk and picks up a report. The report contains both photographs and typewritten documents.


Nicholas, I received a report that is very disturbing. It's from Meister Rezniko, a political officer, regarding the May Day celebration at the monastery in Fletchermont.

Now Colonel Van Brello looks at a report.


The abbot of the Fletchermont Monastery is Brother Anthony Wayne - a Christian man, is he not? But my political officer tells me that Abbot Wayne said my political officer doesn't know how to shit. What kind of Christian man would say a thing like that about a good citizen?

Colonel Van Brello begins to show Santa some of the photos of the May Day parade. Commenting on a photo of Sister Mildred at the hot dog cart:


Here are some other photos.

(Seeing the photo of Sister Mildred.)

Now there's an attractive woman.

(Reading notes on the back of the photograph.)

Her name is Mildred. I believe that's her little girl in the picture, too - a daughter, she has a daughter named Anne. You know what that means? If that's her daughter, Mildred's not a virgin. I like women who have experience. They don't have to get over issues of shyness or morality when they enjoy the pleasure of a man. A beautiful woman with experience like that can always find a way to be useful.

Colonel Van Brello looks at a couple of photos of the children who are obviously sick, crippled, or injured.


Look at these beautiful children. They're all being taught to pray to a "God the Father."

(In an angry tone.)

Look at them. Look at them! Your God calls himself a father and allows this to happen to them. Under the new order, all children will have a real father - one who loves them, who can care for them, one they can see. Why, there isn't even a picture of your God. These children need someone they can see when they're looking for a father role model.

Now Colonel Van Brello shows Santa a picture of Adolf Hitler.


Hitler with childrenThis is a father. When this man becomes the father of the world, no one will be allowed to be sick. And when there are parades through the streets, there won't be musicians on hay wagons waiving banners like this one.

Colonel Van Brello shows Santa a picture of the banner at Fletchermont that says, "Jesus Loves You."


Instead, there will be parades with soldiers and tanks and planes flying over Nazi Parade Gebietehead - so children will feel safe. And, yes, there will be banners but they will say, "The Führer Loves You." And I intend to be standing next to the Führer when that happens.

The Colonel puts the report with the photographs down and tries to get a bit more intimate with Santa.


Nicholas, war is coming and you have vast resources all over Europe that make your holiday gifts. The high political command wants those resources to support the war effort. As your friend I'm advising you to order all of your facilities to support the war effort. If you don't, they'll be taken by force and you will become my enemy. Then I'll have to hunt you down and kill you. Is that clear, old man?

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The A Christmas to Remember is an original work created and copyrighted by
Lance Micklus of Essex Junction, Vermont. All rights reserved.

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